


look me in the eyes (and tell me you love me)

by ZhenLe



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Slow Build, Strangers to Lovers, Tokyo (City), Underwater Kiss, and then for makoto, good job haru, haru just falls for makoto's eyes, haru majors in art, i cant believe i actually added tags wow, might add tags as i write, slight sourin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-10 11:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3289370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZhenLe/pseuds/ZhenLe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru wonders why he hasn’t murdered his roommate yet.</p><p>His roommate’s best friend is a totally different story.</p><p> </p><p>(In other words, this is a story in which Haru learns rivalry, jealousy, and most importantly, love.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. haru discovers the joys of having a roommate

**Author's Note:**

> it's 2015, i'm back, i'm sorry  
>  ~~i have decided being sad is going to change absolutely nothing~~
> 
> but i still don't know what i'm doing  
> (please bear with me i am such a sap)  
> this is for all of you who gave me so much encouragement and love ♥

The first thing Haru notices when he steps into his new room is the bunk bed. He spends a mere half a second thanking his lucky stars because he can just about hear Nagisa’s voice ring in his head when he’d told him a week before coming to Tokyo

_“It’s true, Haru-chan! When my sister went to Tokyo University she had to share a bed with her roommate! They slept on the same bed!”_

The second thing he notices is that the bottom bunk’s been taken. Haru almost takes back his thanks.

“Hey, I’m Rin. I’m gonna be your roommate, I guess.”

Red hair that irritate his eyes. Gleaming white shark teeth.

Those are the first things Haru notices about Rin. He idly wonders what sort of childhood trauma the guy went through or whether he actually files his teeth before realising Rin’s gaze is still on him.

“Haru.”

Haru literally cannot be bothered to introduce himself anymore because he’s inwardly cursing the guy for adding extra discomfort into his life. Having the top bunk is going to be such a hassle.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

Rin sits on his bed with his head in his palm, elbow on his knee, glancing dismally at Haru. Haru just scowls as he puts his bag down and rummages inside for what he’s looking for.

“Oh, and I took the bottom bunk I hope you don’t mind.”

 _Great_ apology.

Haru’s getting more and more agitated by the second because he can just _feel_ the sort of vibe Rin is giving out. It’s in the range of vibes that Haru wants nothing to do with.

“Where are you going?”

Zipping up his bag, Haru spares a glance at Rin before walking right out the door.

“Pool.”

 

 

In the water, Haru doesn’t have to think. Doesn’t have to feel. Doesn’t have to deal with anything.

He glides effortlessly through the water, soaking in its soothing presence, no longer agitated. The water accepts him, lets him do his thing. It doesn’t pry, it doesn’t push, choosing to safeguard Haru in its calm serene cocoon instead.

The only reason why he chose this university over all the others (that apparently been better known for their art courses) was because this one allowed free access to the pool. For _all_ students; not just those on the swim team.

Haru reaches out and touches the wall, finally coming to a halt after mindlessly swimming for at least a good half hour. It’s only then he faintly feels another presence in the water, but he can’t even be bothered to stop and look and he’s just about to swim another round when

“Are you on the swim team?”

Rin is smirking at him in a way which leaves Haru vaguely annoyed. It’s almost like the guy _wants_ to annoy him. And Haru really can’t afford another annoying thing in his life. So he just gives a short curt ‘no’ and sets off again.

The water is still calm a good 20 metres into his lap, but then it suddenly changes. Haru can’t seem to place his finger on this strange new feeling he’s getting.

It’s almost as if the water is too hot.

It burns. It’s burning him, and Haru barely has time to breathe when he catches the faint glimmer of a shark-toothed grin before a flash of red powers past him, leaving the water crashing violently all around his body.

He doesn’t know how when or why it’s pulled him in too but before he can even register what’s going on Haru’s swimming faster than he can remember, chasing after Rin’s disappearing figure across the water.

They swim and swim and the rush of adrenaline through his blood is something Haru hasn’t felt in _ages_. It’s weird, it’s unnatural, _why am I even racing him?!_

Both of them flip-turn at exactly the same time but Rin pulls a little ahead after the kick, only to once again be evenly matched by the smooth long strokes of Haru’s arms.

It’s still hot, it’s so unbearably hot and Haru just wants to reach the end of the pool so he can hop out and stand under the cold shower. He doesn’t breathe until the 35 metre mark where his lungs have started burning with ache, loss of oxygen, and an undoubted tingle of thrill.

Haru slaps his hand against the cool tiles and whips his head up, breathing hard. The water is no longer what’s hot – it’s _him_ that’s hot, almost like his skin is on fire.

“You’re a pretty good swimmer you know? Why don’t you join the swim team?”

Closing his eyes, Haru breathes out a soft huff of frustration.

“I only swim free.”

Rin is so utterly confused as Haru ducks back under water.

 

 

When Haru arrives back at the dorm, damp towel around his shoulders and hair a little messy, he finds Rin lying on the bottom bunk (Haru scowls again) on the phone. He hangs his towel in the bathroom, changes into his sleepwear and walks out again.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then? Okay, bye.”

Haru spares a glance in Rin’s direction before padding towards the ladder to the upper bunk.

“I was just talking to my best friend.”

_I didn’t need to know that._

“He’s a really good guy.”

Rin chuckles a little while Haru can’t be bothered to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“Do you want to meet him?”

“No.”

“Thought so too.”

Haru slides under the covers, a little irked because _no_ he does not need another annoying thing in his life and _why_ would Rin even bother asking him. If Rin was already this troublesome surely his friends would be the same.

Somewhere at the back in his mind he’s still irritated about the entire bunk bed situation and how Rin does not seem to be apologetic about it.

“Goodnight, I guess.”

At least Haru still has the decency to reply with a noncommittal noise.

 

 

“C’mon Haru. I’m sure it’ll be more fun this way!”

“No.”

Haru’s frowning as he eats his breakfast opposite Rin. The canteen is not that crowded, seeing as classes don’t start until next week.

“But why not? Neither of us know the campus and it’d be more fun exploring with other people.”

“No.”

“Don’t be such a killjoy Haru. My best friend and his roommate are coming too so it’s not just you and me. Plus it’ll be a pain if you get lost by yourself.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to get lost.”

“So you know your way to all your classes? Don’t you need to familiarise yourself with your surroundings a little?”

The way Rin says that makes Haru bristle in irritation because firstly he has a point, secondly it’s actually a good point, but thirdly it includes socialising (with Rin and his friends – _annoying_ ) and Haru has no intentions of spending his free day doing that.

Rin smirks – the guy actually has the audacity to smirk– when he notices Haru’s slight dilemma.

“You’ll come, won’t you?”

Haru doesn’t bother entertaining him with an answer.

 

 

“There they are!”

Haru grunts when Rin pulls at his sleeve, making sure he doesn’t sneak off to the pool or something. They walk towards a shaded bench where two guys are already seated, chatting amiably from what Haru can see.

He just fires his curses at the sky while Rin continues tugging him along.

“Makoto!” Rin calls when they’re mere feet away.

The one on the left turns at the mention of his name and all of a sudden Haru can’t think.

 

They’re so green.

An electrifying, breath-taking, _gorgeous_ green.

Haru’s breath is swept away with the wind because his mind is blank. Blank except for one thought.

Makoto’s eyes are the most beautiful shade of green.


	2. haru discovers the joys of literature class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru convinces himself he doesn't care about Makoto. He does not care one bit about the guy except for his eyes. Until literature class rolls around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'm going to tell you all right now that the chapter I posted yesterday was literally because I walked into the shower, inspiration hit me like a truck, I stumbled out and then vomited words and makoharu onto my laptop, and then posted it.  
> Today I woke up and realised I have zero plot. Z E R O. I was about to slap myself because I had school and THIS STUPID AU was the only thing I could think about in class. I am such trash.  
> And then you know what I GOT HELD BACK AT SCHOOL BC OF SONG PRACTICE and guess what I did. I planned the dumb fic but because I had no laptop and my phone was as good as dead I handwrote the outline. Half of which consisted of me writing 'I AM GOING TO DIE' with shaky hands and literally all in caps. And you have to know that the only reason why I did the planning instead of studying was because when I opened my books to study my heart just started beating like crazy and I actually felt SICK and couldn't concentrate because all I could think of was cRAP I DONT HAVE A PLOT AND THIS DUMB AU I CREATED. I HAVE BECOME A TRUE TRASHBAG.
> 
> So I'm going to say this again. I am so so SO sorry. I hope I live up to your expectations, please don't hit me I already slammed myself into a brick wall.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry I ranted this is going to be longer than the actual chp if I keep talking (AND SORRY IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ALL THIS) I hope I didn't make Haru too ooc or anything, please SCOLD ME IF I WENT TOO FAR

“Oi Haru!”

Haru suddenly snaps out of his daze to find Rin looking half annoyed and half worried at him.

“What?”

“Are you even listening?”

“To what?”

“To me of course! I swear you are _such_ a pain.”

Haru merely shrugs, still too entranced by Makoto and woah. He’s been so busy looking at his eyes that he never realised what an attractive face the guy had. Not that Haru was attracted to it or anything, no, nothing like that. Nothing like that at all.

_There is no such thing as love at first sight Haru, get a grip._

“Anyway, as I was saying when you were in your own little dreamland you _twit_ , this is Makoto the guy I told you about last night, my best friend. And this is Sousuke, his roommate.”

Sousuke looks intimidating. He has almost the same built as Makoto, and there’s just something about him that makes Haru want nothing to do with him.

“Well then let’s go!”

Haru is barely even concentrating on his surroundings. His attention is back on Makoto’s eyes, attempting to mix paints in his head and getting increasingly jittery because he can feel it. He can feel the urge to mix and mix and mix until he finds that perfect shade. And then he’s going to paint _everything_ with it.

He keeps a low profile throughout their tour so that he can treat himself to the occasional glance up at them. Just the occasional glance because no he is not a creep.

Makoto and Rin are, of course, conversing freely and easily together and even Makoto’s intimidating roommate – Sousuke, if Haru remembers correctly – seems to be getting along quite well.

Haru doesn’t quite care, can’t find it in himself to care. All he wants right now is to go back, mix his blues and yellows until he comes up with that perfect shade of green.

The campus is huge and they’re barely halfway done when a low rumbling comes from Haru’s left.

“Sorry sorry, I’m kinda hungry.”

Rin rubs the back of his neck and lets loose a small laugh. Haru rolls his eyes.

“How about we get some lunch before we continue?”

“Yes please I love you Makoto.”

Makoto chuckles somewhat embarrassedly and Haru finds himself being dragged along to the canteen. What a pain.

 

 

The canteen is more crowded than this morning, with all the first year students coming in early to adjust to their new lives.

Even though Haru has mackerel he can’t concentrate or sit still because that’s not the only thing in front of him. Just _who_ decided to let Makoto sit opposite him? Haru curses his twisted fate and resigns himself to keeping a permanent scowl on his face.

“Haru?”

_Oh crap no he’s talking to me stop talking to me take your green eyes and leave me go away –_

“Mm?”

He knew it. He _knew_ it yet he didn’t control himself. The moment Haru looks up he’s lost again in that mesmerising sea of green and _Why. Am. I. Doing. This. To. Myself._

“Are you alright? I mean you’re not eating your food and you look sorta…”

Why does Makoto even care about him who gave him the right to do this because right now Haru’s just a mess of green and racing heartbeats and shaky hands and he knows he can only blame himself for looking up.

“’m fine.”

“O-okay. If you say so!”

Haru has to look away. He doesn’t even have a choice because just _who_ can stare at a smile so blinding? At a smile so bright, it rivalled the sun? Haru’s pretty sure he isn’t the only one who needs a pair of shades.

Also, Haru muses to himself, Makoto is the total opposite of Rin.

Rin is just a huge _huge_ annoying thing in his life while Makoto might actually be a sweetheart.

Who knows? Haru knows _he_ isn’t going to find out because he doesn’t care. Or at least that’s what he tells himself.

He doesn’t care one bit about Makoto except for the lovely shade of green his eyes are.

(Haru also appreciates the fact that Makoto has a normal set of teeth.)

 

 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come?”

“No.”

Rin sighs and shrugs.

“Fine fine, just don’t die of boredom by yourself.”

Makoto gives him an embarrassed smile which Haru quickly ignores by turning around and walking away. They’d finally finished touring the entire university, and Rin wanted to go and catch a film in the city.

There’s no way Haru was going to shorten his life span any further by spending more time with him.

So while Rin and the other two walk out, Haru has to practically force himself not to run back to his room.

The shaking in his hands comes back. His heart races at the speed Haru wishes he was running at back to the dorms. He hasn’t had the urge to paint much in years and it’s as if it all built up and hit him right in the gut.

He’s about to find _that_ green.

 

 

Haru has almost filled his second page of not-the-right green and is about to rip up his sketchbook in exasperation. His palette is messy with blue and yellow and every single shade of green he mixes.

Every single one except _that_ one.

All the little green dots that are just not the correct shade seem to mock him, staring right up at him as Haru just keeps mixing and mixing and sighing and sighing.

They’re all wrong.

He’s just about to start pulling out his hair when he finally decides to slam his sketchbook shut, not think about those three pages filled with green dots, and go for a swim. Swimming is _never_ frustrating.

He washes his palette out and heads to the pool.

 

 

Haru never thought he’d be wrong about swimming but here he is in the pool pulling and kicking as hard as he can only to stop right in the middle of his 47th lap in frustration.

He can’t seem to stop thinking about a certain pair of eyes and even though the calm blue is all around him his mind just does not focus. It will not focus. Not on the pool. Not on swimming. Not on the _water_ like it always would.

Haru wants to punch Rin for ever introducing him to Tachibana Makoto and his stupid green eyes.

It’s almost unbelievable when Haru walks right out of the pool building not even an hour after he entered.

At least his mind is kind on him when he falls into a dreamless sleep a full two hours ahead of his usual bedtime.

 

 

Classes have started and the only thing Haru can be happy about is that he sees Rin less every day now. He doesn’t know if he could’ve survived a week longer with Rin being annoying at least 12 hours of the day.

Haru had decided on pursuing an art degree, so even though he majored in art it had been compulsory for all students to take at least two credits of a subject outside their major. He’d chosen literature just because it seemed easy compared to the rest.

He comes early to the hall just so he can secure a seat at the back near the exit. Since it’s an evening class, Haru thinks he can get away with an easy lecture, and then an easy exit back to his room. He almost smiles because it does sound quite relaxing but then –

“Oh, Haru!”

\-   _it_ happens.

“I didn’t know you were taking literature?”

Makoto pulls out the seat next to him and Haru just about waves goodbye to his future peaceful Thursday evenings.

“Seemed easy.”

The brunet chuckles a little and Haru doesn’t even know _what_ exactly Makoto finds amusing but it doesn’t stop the little tug in his chest when he hears it.

Haru just about pretends it never happened.

Makoto’s about to say something but the professor walks in and then he’s suddenly in good-student mode and Haru can only say wow.

Glasses suit him _a lot_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (megane makoto was nOT supposed to happen my hand slipped)
> 
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE AMAZING RECEPTION AND FEEDBACK I RECEIVED FROM JUST THE FIRST CHAPTER! I AM REALLY SO, SO SO HAPPY!! Especially after the fact that I was in a slump last year (if you rmb the end note for the last fic I wrote) this has been really reALLY super encouraging to me! I can't thank you guys enough have my love ♥
> 
> Anyways, thank you all once again!!! I hope you continue to enjoy this as much as I love thinking about this in class!! I greatly appreciate and thank you in advance for any more comments and kudos you guys give me!
> 
> (MakoHaru ruins lives folks, please stay safe and do not become utter TRASH like me. Take care of yourselves.)
> 
> ((Tumblr @grizzly-pandabear | Twitter @nanasehharu))


	3. haru discovers the joys of having a phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru falls sick, uses his phone, and Rin discovers something Haru now wants to burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello fluffy fishcakes!! sorry i didn't update yesterday i got half of it written before i died from cramps hAhHAHAha  
> so yes i continued it this morning after 14hrs of sleep sO I APOLOGISE IF STH SEEMS OFF im probs still totally dazed ackk
> 
> but enjoy!! there's finally some makoharu fluff so i hope you like it?? i hope i didnt mess anything up ;;

Haru hates to admit it but he’s actually come to like Makoto so far.

Or maybe ‘like’ is a bit too forward a word, ‘accept well’ is probably better.

He really is nothing like Rin, radiating sunshine instead of bad vibes, talking kindly instead of running his mouth, and smiling like a normal person not an abominable _shark_.

Yes, Haru can accept him well.

There’s another thing Haru hates to admit even more and that is that he’s found a certain sense of comfort in Makoto.

All the brunet does is talk and talk and Haru, even though he used to find it a little annoying, has grown accustomed to it and how nice Makoto’s entire being actually is. He doesn’t even need to put effort into answers; Makoto can talk the entire day for all he knows.

(Haru probably knows Makoto’s entire life story by now, and how he’s got two younger twin siblings and a neighbourhood cat that he misses.)

Now it’s not just Makoto’s green _green_ eyes that can keep Haru’s attention on him.

 

 

“Hey Haru, do you want to grab some dinner with Rin and I later?”

Haru shrugs.

“We’re going to go to the ramen place nearby. It’s cheaper than canteen food and probably nicer too!”

Makoto chuckles and Haru pouts because yes, he feels like ramen but no, he does not want to spend the evening with Rin talking his ear off.

“I mean you don’t have to, of course! I can always buy you something back if you need?”

_You’re so nice why are you so nice stop being so nice._

“Okay. Thanks.”

But even if Makoto _is_ the literal definition of ‘nice’ and even though everything he does is commendable and quite sweet it still doesn’t change the fact that Haru frowns when he sees three people in his contact list instead of the two he’s had in his phone for the past years of owning a phone.

He’d hardly even contacted his parents in the past and now he has a new contact saved in there.

Actually, he barely remembers how to send a message, can’t even _remember_ how he got Makoto’s phone number, but it’s there and it’s bothersome and Haru knows he’s never going to use it.

 

 

Or at least that’s what he thinks.

Haru wakes up one day to a burning forehead and watery eyes and he can barely even open them without wincing at the sharp ache at the back of his head.

Now _this_ is a pain.

Pulling the blanket around himself tighter, he attempts to sleep it off until he realises that he has two lectures today and he probably shouldn’t miss them. Or should at least ask someone to record the lecture for him.

It’s Thursday and Haru has absolutely no friends in his morning lecture that can help him and worrying about it any more than this is going to make his fever spike higher than it already is.

At least Makoto’s in his literature class.

Searching for his phone takes longer in his fever-induced haze but when he finally finds it underneath his pillow, it takes another long while before he clicks on the little message button on Makoto’s profile.

 

_To: Makoto_

_Cn u hrlp m recod th lectr im sik_

 

Haru can hardly even type, let alone process or see what he’s typing, but his finger manages its way to the send button before he slips into unconsciousness.

The blinking notification of a reply just about ten seconds later goes completely unnoticed.

 

 

“…no…stop… …don’t…what…”

Haru groans softly when he hears muffled voices right above his head. His head is swimming and it’s really cold.

“Haru…Haru…”

Something’s shaking his shoulder and whispering his name, voice so far away yet so close. It takes him forever before his eyes finally open.

And then he’s staring right into a sea of green.

“Rin! Haru’s awake.”

Makoto turns his face away and Haru sighs in relief because that had been blinding. But so much for sighing in relief because Rin’s hair comes into view and that isn’t much better.

“Well it’s about time you woke up, you’ve been out cold the entire day.”

Haru certainly doesn’t need to know that because he’s still feeling terrible and Rin’s voice, although he’s whispering, is making everything worse.

“Shut up…”

He tries to pull the sheets over his head and catches the faint scent of flowers before something warm grabs his hands.

“Haru you can’t go back to sleep yet.”

Makoto pries the covers from Haru’s hands gently, still keeping a hold on them in case Haru attempts to bundle himself and roll over again.

“I brought you some soup, it’ll warm you up a bit.”

“’m not hungry…”

Even though they’re gentle, Makoto’s hands have an iron grip and Haru doesn’t have enough strength to fight against him right now.

“Shut up and eat Haru.”

Haru scowls at Rin but it only lasts for a moment because his head’s started to spin terribly.

“Can you sit up?”

Obviously _not_.

But he does try for Makoto’s sake and he fails miserably. It’s almost as if his entire body has become lead.

And then he doesn’t need to try anymore because the warmth leaves his hands and he can feel his upper body being lifted up _so_ easily, and placed back against a soft pillow.

He winces slightly when the hand supporting the back of his head gently lets go.

“S-sorry did I hurt you too much?”

If Haru hadn’t been so sick he’d probably have a horrified look on his face because _did Makoto just lift me up?!_

So he sighs instead and hears Rin’s teasing chuckle.

“I’m leaving you in Makoto’s care. He’s a great mother.”

“Rin!”

Makoto’s red. And somewhere in the murky depths of Haru’s fuzzy fevered mind there’s the trivial thought that that blush suits him well.

“Come _on_ Makoto. We all know you put every single mother to shame and you don’t even have kids!”

“Rin!!”

Makoto squeaks. He actually _squeaks_ and Rin laughs so loud that Haru’s head thumps and he groans.

“Oh, sorry Haru!”

They’re back to whispering but Haru wishes they’d both just shut up already.

Rin is not deterred and it’s almost as if he has an agenda to embarrass Makoto to the point of no return tonight because the next line

“He even carried you down from the top bunk to look after you properly!”

has Makoto beet red and silent.

Haru is not much better off.

Rin is slapping his knees like this is some sort of comedy show while Haru is just. Stunned. And terribly embarrassed because _he actually carried me_.

“Just be thankful,” Rin says in between breaths of laughter, “that my sheets don’t smell. But there’s no way I’m taking the top bunk Haru. Your sheets probably reek of chlorine and paint.”

Well, he isn’t _wrong_. And Haru’s 99% sure Rin uses the same flowery detergent his mother uses.

“So I’m swapping rooms with Makoto until you’re better.”

_What._

“Eh?”

Apparently, Makoto hasn’t been informed either and Haru isn’t surprised. Rin is just _that_ sort of jerk.

“Take good care of fishboy, Makoto. I’m off to sleep with Sousuke.”

Rin pauses right in front of the door, proceeds to turn red, and then practically runs out of the room in the next moment.

 

 

Makoto places a cool wet cloth on Haru’s forehead when he comes out of the bathroom.

Haru barely even registers its presence. His eyelids are heavy and he does feel warmer after the soup – _curse you for being so nice Makoto_ – and his fever has subsided a little.

“Do you need anything else, Haru?”

Makoto’s voice is really gentle on Haru’s ears, not grating like Rin’s is. Almost like a spoken lullaby.

“Mpf…” _No, I’m fine._

“Okay, if you need me just hit the bed frame or something. I’m going to be right above you.”

 _Just don’t fall on me_ is the last sarcastic thought Haru has for the day before he falls back asleep.

Haru finally recovers on Saturday morning.

 

 

The end of semester exams are next week and Haru has less time to go to the pool. He’s busy finishing up all his art projects and assignments and studying for a few other exams. It’s hectic, it’s stressful, and he’s holed up in his room every minute he’s not in class.

By this time, he’s on his third sketchbook, and he’s sketching away one rainy afternoon.

Rin’s out practicing with the swim team (ever since Haru found out, he’s had another reason to add when people ask him why he never joined) so the room is quiet and peaceful. All his major assignments have been completed, and he has two exams left to go.

Haru absolutely cannot wait to go back to the pool.

So that’s what he does the minute he walks out of the exam hall on Friday.

The moment he dives into the pool, Haru feels so free, so alive, and so happy.

He spends a good two hours in there, alternating between swimming and just floating silently through the water, before he notices that it’s pretty late and he’s hungry.

Haru walks back to his room and opens the door to reveal Rin standing against the table, appearing too smug for his liking.

“You can’t fool me, Haru.”

Haru chooses to ignore Rin, instead digging in his bag for his wallet.

“It’s probably about time you confess, you know.”

_Confess? Confess what?_

He stands up slowly, eyeing Rin who’s now grinning at him like he has found some deep dark secret about Haru’s past.

Which does scare Haru momentarily before he realises there’s nothing in his past that he’s embarrassed about.

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

“No.”

Rin chuckles, and it turns into something almost maniacal which makes Haru want to walk right out the door but he has to admit he’s a little curious as to what Rin’s got.

“I’m talking about this.”

Haru’s no longer curious.

He stops breathing the moment Rin pulls out sketchbook #2 from behind his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rin presents to haru sketchbook #2 and i present to you cliffhanger #1 !!
> 
> uhm if you didn't like anything please tell me and i will try to improve my writing!! (but i beg of you please at least stay for the next chapter i would rly like to see what you think bc i'm currently writing it and im almost done !!)   
> PLEASE BE PREPARED FOR CHAPTER 4 AS MUCH AS IM EXCITED WRITING IT I WANT TO GIVE YOU A WARNING just bc i dont know if i'm gonna execute it properly and nicely as planned...OTL i'll try my best okay?  
> also if i stick to my outline, there should be 6 chapters in total :D
> 
> any more feedback, comments and kudos are highly appreciated thank you!! (also im not sure why the end note section from chp 1 is at the bottom of here now? im so confused??)


	4. haru discovers the joys of mid-year break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, featuring sketchbook #2, Haru and Rin as literal five year olds, the 'pros' of staying back for the mid-year break, and what being underwater can do to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO NERVOUS POSTING THIS OH MY GOODNESS like I said, I'm really really really excited about this chapter and I don't even know why but okay, just one big apology to all of you, you'll see why later OTL
> 
> Pls know that Haru has vERY sfw dreams, he probably dreams about rly rLY fluffy things okay bc he is a pure innocent angel ♥♥♥
> 
> Another thing, I have absolutely nothing against leg fetishes okay please don't take it personally this is just Haru in denial (THIS IS SO WEIRD OUT OF CONTEXT GOODNESS GRACIOUS)
> 
> Also about text messages, I literally don't know what messaging is like in Japan, and I don't have a smartphone so I don't have that fancy thing where you can actually see a person's reply while typing your reply I HAVE A NOKIA so I gotta memorise the person's text, then reply and then yeah complicated stuff and the texts literally look like what I typed them out to be so yehhhhhhhhh OTL
> 
> If there's anything weird about this, please tell me!! I hope you enjoy though ;;;;;;

Sketchbook #2 is, frankly, _very private_.

Haru has filled up every single page over the weeks with sketches, ink drawings, colourings, and pieces using every other type of medium he has in his hands. And every single artwork is focused on the exact same thing.

Makoto.

Makoto never fails to fuel the artistic talent in Haru. He’s just _that_ pleasing to look at that Haru finds himself doodling without hesitation. There are even nights where he wakes up, head a mess of green eyes and brown hair, and grabs the sketchbook and his phone from under his pillow to draw under the covers.

So when Rin pulls it out from behind his back with a smug grin on his face Haru’s first thought is _I need to burn that book_.

His second thought is _I’m going to murder Rin_.

And by the time he’s back to being relatively rational Rin is laughing at him in the most annoying manner, flashing his stupid shark teeth and ridiculing Haru to no end.

“You should have seen the _look_ on your face Haru! I should’ve snapped a picture that was _golden_!”

Haru’s back to having thoughts of murder as he lunges out for sketchbook #2. Of course, Rin is not letting him have it and carefully steps away with the book high above his head.

“Give it back.”

Haru is seething. He doesn’t exactly know why he’s so touchy when it comes to sketchbook #2 but he blames it on the amazing art he’s managed to get out on paper while admiring Makoto’s aesthetics. Art that he does not want to share with anyone else.

“Look Haru, I don’t know if you’re being creepy or you’re just so in love with Makoto that he’s all you can think of. Actually I highly doubt you’re being a creep even though you do have your weird water tendencies.”

“Give it back Rin. I’m being neither of them.”

He makes another attempt at the sketchbook but it’s to no avail.

“You’re not fooling anyone, _Nanase_.”

Haru bristles at the sudden use of his last name. Rin is still grinning condescendingly at him.

“Shut up _Matsuoka_. Give it back.”

“Not until you admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“What else?” Rin rolls his eyes as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

But it isn’t. At least not to Haru.

“Are you that stupid?! C’mon you twerp can’t you see, _you’re in love with Makoto?!_ ”

“I’m not.”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Who else fills an entire _sketchbook_ with drawings of him?!”

“He’s just easy to draw!”

_And handsome. Really good looking. Very pleasing to the eyes. A+ drawing material._

“That’s what you say Haru. Keep fooling yourself you’re not fooling me.”

“I’m not fooling myself. Give. It. Back.”

“Then tell me, why are you so embarrassed?”

_Embarrassed?_

“I’m not embarrassed.”

“Then why are your cheeks red?”

_My cheeks are red?_

Haru touches his right cheek and _no way_ , it’s actually a little warm.

“They aren’t red.”

Rin sneers and Haru is infuriated.

“Then why are you so sensitive about this sketchbook?”

“Because it’s _mine_.”

“Ridiculous. You’re embarrassed aren’t you?”

Haru stops answering altogether. He’s not embarrassed, just angry that Rin went through his things. Isn’t that a breach of privacy?

Plus it’s not like he’s a creep for drawing Makoto, is he? If anything the guy should be flattered that Haru admires his good looks. He’s not in love, but he isn’t _blind_ to an attractive face.

“Okay, okay I’m going to try something different.”

Haru scowls at Rin who just gives him an amused snort.

“Do you think about him a lot?”

Well, of course. Haru’s drawn him so much it’s now quite hard for him to focus on any other person that might have a nice face.

“Mm.”

“Does your heart race when you see him?”

Haru doesn’t know why he’s entertaining Rin by actually _thinking_ about these things. But it doesn’t stop him from remembering the tug at his chest when Makoto laughed, or how flustered he got after his fever went down.

But no, his heart definitely does _not_ race for Makoto. No way. Why would it?

Haru narrows his eyes.

“No.”

“Don’t you feel anything weird or funny when you’re around him? Or when he does something…cute? Or sexy? Or I don’t know just think about it!”

That one time Makoto had picked up a cute grey kitten and baby-talked it near the bushes had made Haru want to snap a picture. Haru _never_ takes pictures.

And there _had_ been a time where he’d seen Makoto, well, half naked and sweaty after a run and Haru almost had to dunk himself in the pool because he’d never felt so hot and bothered.

But no. That wasn’t weird at all…was it?

“You do, don’t you?”

Haru’s scowl grows by 50%.

“Don’t you want to see him every day? Or have the urge to touch him? Don’t you dream about him?!”

_No no no no no no nonono no such thing there is no way I’m in love with Makoto who does Rin think he is why am I so flustered what is this_

“Shut up, Rin.”

_Shut up and leave me alone._

“Fine fine, but you’ve got to realise it soon, Haru. I’m just trying to help you.”

Haru almost rips the door handle out of the door and huffs in annoyance. He doesn’t even feel hungry anymore and he doesn’t care about the sketchbook. Rin can have it for all he cares.

“Oh yeah,” Rin calls out as Haru’s halfway out the room, “Makoto’s a really good guy.”

He slams the door shut.

 

 

Rin doesn’t bring up that topic anymore and he has returned Haru the sketchbook. Not like Haru needs it.

He’s stopped drawing Makoto. Stopped inking his pretty face down on paper. Stopped sketching those familiar lines and kind eyes.

But he hasn’t stopped thinking about Makoto. Hasn’t stopped thinking about what Rin said no matter how many times he’s gone swimming or attempted to focus on something else.

And when he wakes up in the middle of the night, breathless and warm, Haru knows he’s got a problem. Because the moment he tries to go back to sleep it’s as if the backs of his eyelids have branded images of Makoto just for him to look at.

It’s terrible.

Haru does not want to admit defeat to Rin but he can’t even be sure that Rin is right. He’s never fallen in love, or at least not with a _person_ so Haru doesn’t know what he’s feeling.

He doesn’t know what the weird constriction in his chest is whenever Makoto brushes their arms together. He doesn’t know what the fuzzy warm feeling is when Makoto smiles at him. He doesn’t know what the faint longing in his heart is when Makoto leaves.

Haru doesn’t understand.

 

 

“Are you staying here for the break?”

“Mm.”

Mid-year break is finally here, and literally everyone is talking about going back to visit their families or going overseas. Haru has nowhere to go.

“Well I’ll be gone for about three weeks. Probably be back a good while before next semester starts. Coach doesn’t want us slacking.”

Rin sighs as he dumps his travel bag on the bed.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

He doesn’t continue until Haru looks up from where he’s reading.

Then he grins.

“Makoto’s staying too.”

Haru goes red and it’s not like he even meant to _blush_ but he is and his face is warm and why is this even happening to him.

“Better go woo him before any girl gets him.”

And with that, Rin is gone and Haru is left all alone for the next few weeks (with absolutely _zero_ intentions of wooing Makoto, whatever that was supposed to mean).

 

 

_From Makoto_

_Hey Haru! I heard you were staying here for the break. Do you want to meet up? ^^_

 

_To: Makoto_

_Sure._

 

_From Makoto_

_Great! Is there anywhere you want to go? :)_

_To: Makoto_

_Pool._

 

_From Makoto_

_Haha, that’s just like you. Then how about later on at 5? We can get dinner afterwards if you’d like to ^^_

_To: Makoto_

_Okay._

 

Which is why Haru leaves his room at 4:30 that day, heads to the pool, and dives into the cool water.

He’s twenty minutes early, but it doesn’t matter because he needs that time to calm down. He needs to seriously get a grip on himself because his heart is going at an unusually fast pace and looking at the clock is making him a little jumpy.

He needs to go back to his usual self before Makoto comes.

And it’s _totally_ working.

Haru curses himself because just how flustered can he get over one person?

When he slaps the wall again and stops to breathe, he doesn’t chance a glance up at the large clock because there’s no way he’s going to get all nervous again. Haru’s calmed down quite a bit, and, well, that’s an achievement.

“You’re here early!”

Haru almost jumps out of his skin.

“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Makoto’s rubbing the back of his neck bashfully, legs in the water, and sitting at the lane next to Haru’s.

“It’s nothing.”

Haru submerges half his face in the water – _not_ because he’s embarrassed or anything – and takes in the full-length black pair of jammer with green stripes that seem to suit Makoto well.

“How long’ve you been swimming already?”

“Not very long.”

Makoto chuckles and Haru sort of has to hide his face because he’s stared at Makoto’s legs for too long and oh, my, his _legs_.

Not that Haru has a fetish for people’s legs, that’s just strange, it’s just that Makoto’s are very well toned and muscular and Haru never would’ve thought a person’s body could be quite this well sculpted.

“Let’s swim some more, shall we?”

Haru doesn’t need to be told twice.

 

 

When Makoto swims, it’s all powerful strokes and strong splashes, almost like he’s running away from something.

If Haru hadn’t known his fear he would’ve thought the guy had no grace.

But he knows that’s not the case. And even if Makoto is powering through the water, giving it his all, swimming hard like there’s no tomorrow, there’s an enthralling sense of beauty in his stroke, something Haru has never seen but wouldn’t mind seeing more of.

Makoto stops at the opposite end of the pool, breathing hard and droplets of water rolling down his face, neck, chest...

Haru swallows.

He’s caught staring when Makoto looks up, looking right into Haru’s eyes from across the entire pool length.

Haru feels like he’s floating. Floating in a pool of green.

And it’s so compelling he doesn’t even realise when he’s started gliding his way towards Makoto, kicking all the way to the other side of the pool. Like he’s being pulled there by an invisible intangible rope that Haru doesn’t even want to cut.

So he continues swimming.

Swimming under the calm ripples of water on the surface, near the pool floor. Swimming gently and unthinkingly.

Makoto has started swimming too. Swimming towards Haru, also underwater, with a small smile on his face.

Haru feels his breath leave him as he nears the other, because Makoto’s hair is fluffy, a lighter shade of brown, dancing around in the water. His eyes are glowing greener, brighter, they’re so stunning.

Makoto looks so graceful.

He’s so beautiful.

Haru’s in awe as he comes closer, closer, closer to Makoto. He’s not even thinking anymore, mind filled with nothing but the ethereal image of the boy right in front of his eyes.

He’s drifting even closer now, so close that he can see specks of gold in those gorgeous eyes, can see how soft those brown locks look, can feel Makoto’s warmth through the water.

Makoto’s eyes grow a fraction wider when Haru breathes out gently, small bubbles floating up in the small space between their faces, and then it’s just them. The two of them. Gazing at each other.

Blue and green.

Green and blue.

Makoto and Haru.

Haru and Makoto.

Haru’s brain has probably shut down and he’s probably running on autopilot right now but it doesn’t change the fact that he makes two mistakes.

He closes his eyes.

And then he closes the distance between their lips.

_1_

_2_

_3_

_4_

_5_

Makoto’s mouth opens slightly. Haru feels a small rush of bubbles against the side of face. That’s enough to make him realise that their mouths are pressed together.

So he breaks away.

His head is throbbing.

He’s kicking off the floor. He’s swimming upwards.

His mind is a mess.

The water is scalding. It’s punishing.

Haru clambers out of the pool clumsily.

There’s a sharp ringing in his ears. An ugly feeling of dread in his bones.

And then he’s running.

The floor is slippery and there is a ‘no running’ sign on the wall.

But Haru is running.

Makoto resurfaces just a moment later, a moment too late, because by the time he’s snapped back to reality Haru is almost out of sight.

“Haru!”

Haru does not stop.

“Haru, wait!”

Haru does not wait.

Haru is running.

He’s running away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /l-laughs weakly ahHhahAHhha hah aha ahha a ahhh aah haaa
> 
> s-so when i said i was excited abt writing this chapter...i meant i was excited abt writing that last part ;; ;;;;;; bc it seemed like an interesting id ea and the n haru ra n a w ay orz
> 
> pleASe donT hi T ME IM SO rR y
> 
> THIS iS NOt THE END DONT losE HOpE (IF YOU KNOW ME WELL, YOU'LL KNOW THAT ANGST IS NOT MY TURF. YOU WILL ALSO KNOW THAT IF YOU GIVE ME ANGST I WILL CRY. IT AFFECTS ME SO BAD I LITERALLY WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO CRY AbOUT IT. ITS THE WORST LIKE PLS NO.)
> 
> BUT PLEASE DO TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!! I LOVE READING COMMENTS THANK YOU ALL FOR LEAVING THEM THEY SERIOUSLY MEAN A LOT TO ME, THEY MAKE MY DAY, AND I SMILE SO MUCH WHEN I GET THEM SO I CANT THANK YOU ALL ENOUGH /lies down
> 
> Also just a heads up, not sure when I can get the next chapter done bc I have assignments due this week (haha shoot me) but it shouldn't take too long!! Might not be tomorrow just so you know ^^


	5. haru discovers the joys of having the room to himself (and seeking the water for help, probably)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru thinks and thinks and thinks.  
> Also, the pool is the best place to go when your head is a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT FOR A BIT! BUT I'M BACK!)
> 
> So firstly, I just want to say that even though all this was in my planning and it was all supposed to happen, I never realised that writing this chapter of the aftermath of that kiss was going to be THIS HARD. So it took me quite awhile, I planned it out three different times and I did not stick to any of my plans goodness gracious (me @ me whAT ARE YOu DOING) but okay, I tried, I've proofread and changed and deleted and added so many things so many times and right now I'm a little confused myself...this is by far the longest chapter, but it had to be done so I'm sorry, I do hope you enjoy it ^^  
> Secondly, HUGE SHOUTOUT TO always_drarry FOR REMINDING ME ABOUT THE JEALOUSY PART goodness gracious I totally forgot, I am so sorry. And because I failed to add it into my planning there isn't a huge part on the jealousy, I'm really sorry. I did try to add it into this chapter, but it's kinda short and it's like a flashback. But if you guys want it please tell me bc I can add it into the last chapter!
> 
> ***ALSO, BEFORE YOU READ ON!! There's something that I'll be writing in the end notes that I'd like you guys to read. Please do!! Hehe sorry for keeping you PLEASE ENJOY!

Haru closes his eyes and tries to sleep.

_I don’t love him._

_But you do._

_But I don’t._

_You do._

_I don’t._

_Then why did you kiss him?_

.

.

.

 

 

 

_To: Makoto_

_I’m sorry._

 

Haru stares at those same two words for the twelfth time. He sighs, hovers over the backspace button, but chooses to save it as a draft instead.

He now has twelve drafts in his phone.

All with the same two words.

I’m sorry.

Haru rolls over and pulls the blanket over his head. It’s hot, he’s sweating a little, but it does nothing to warm the cold dread in his chest.

He has not had a decent sleep in days.

When he closes his eyes, all he sees is Makoto’s face right before the kiss. Like a picture saved in his brain.

A beautiful picture.

But a picture that gives him nightmares.

And Haru cannot delete it.

He tries to ignore it. He really does. He presses the pillow over his head, as if that would stop his mind from being so cruel.

It does not stop being cruel. It continues its ploy. Because by the time Haru manages to drift off into a light slumber it whips out that image again.

Like an annoying pop-up ad that just will not leave you alone. (But of course that picture is a lot more than just an advertisement).

And Haru is left lying there, eyes wide open, breath lost somewhere between the backs of his teeth and the air outside, and dreadfully cold.

Haru never meant to kiss Makoto.

He never meant for it to happen.

Not so soon. Not so suddenly. Not before he realised his own feelings.

But he does not regret it. He cannot regret it. Because regrets are for something terrible and Haru does not think kissing Makoto is terrible.

Kisses are for someone special. Someone he loves.

And now Haru realises it had been love.

He had been in love.

He is in love.

With Makoto.

But it might be too late. Because he messed up.

He messed up the time, the place. He messed up because he had not been truthful with himself. He messed up because he had been a fool.

A fool not to have realised it earlier.

_“Look Haru, I don’t know if you’re being creepy or you’re just so in love with Makoto that he’s all you can think of.”_

I’m sorry. _I didn’t realise_.

A fool to have rolled his eyes at Rin when all he was doing was trying to help him.

_“Fine fine, but you’ve got to realise it soon, Haru. I’m just trying to help you.”_

I’m sorry. _I know._

A fool because he’d been so busy treating Makoto as an object, so busy trying to make him just a _thing_ , so busy trying to bury his innermost feelings with excuses, that he failed to understand.

“Can’t you see, _you’re in love with Makoto?!”_

I’m sorry. _I was blind_.

His lips start to tingle again. Like they do every five minutes. And when Haru presses his fingers to them they’re cold.

 

 

When Haru suddenly blinks his eyes open, it’s dark. Again.

It’s 3am in the morning and if Haru thought he was going to get a decent rest this time, he’s wrong. Again.

Because it’s the fourth night in a row that he’s woken up, at exactly 3am, with the same thought in his head. _Again._

Makoto.

Haru knows he’s not going to go back to sleep. His brain is far too active for that. So he takes this time to try to _understand_. Even though he now understands that he’s in love, there has to be more than that. Haru doesn’t exactly know what love feels like. Because he’s felt so many different things, so many different feelings, and it’s almost like they’re all jumbled together in a huge mess called ‘love’.

He doesn’t want to be making the same mistakes twice. He’s not going to risk anything anymore. He needs to understand his feelings. All the different ones.

When Haru had first set his eyes on Makoto, all he could see was green. And as time passed, green was not the only thing that Haru started to think about.

Makoto has good looks. _Great_ looks. He’s really handsome and Haru knows now that he was trying to give himself the excuse of not being blind to an attractive face. Or to an attractive body. Or to an attractive person who looks _so good_ in glasses.

There are not only the good looks. There is the sweet pleasant aura that Makoto gives out. There is the gentleness in his voice, his actions. There is the really nice smile that Haru has drawn about a hundred times and can see if he closes his eyes and wishes for it.

Haru had admired all that. He still does.

_Admiration._

When Makoto’s arms had brushed against Haru’s the first time, all Haru had felt was a strange tingling sensation. When it happened the second, third, fourth time, Haru hadn’t realised he wanted more. He hadn’t even been conscious of how close they had sat, or stood, next to each other.

There are also Makoto smiles, which are like little presents he gives to each and everyone he smiles at. Because they’re free, and they’re wonderful. And Haru now feels selfish because he’s wanted them all. He still wants them all.

Haru longs to see Makoto. He longs to see his smile. He longs for short moment of static he feels when their arms brush, and the small, almost unintelligible wave of euphoria that comes after it.

 _Longing_.

There are many girls that flock around Makoto. Too many. Haru had always found himself frowning at their advances. Frowning even more when he had heard the common _“he’s so hot”_ coming from their cursed mouths. Haru now understands what it means to want Makoto for himself. It’s selfish, but he can’t stop it.

Rin is Makoto’s best friend. They hang out a lot, more often than Makoto hangs out with Haru. And Haru had been unknowingly sore about that point. Because he wanted to be Makoto’s best friend. He wanted to be the one spending most time with him. He wanted to be the one Makoto is most comfortable with.

Haru had never pegged himself as a jealous person, until he found a person named Tachibana Makoto to be jealous over.

_Jealousy._

Haru cannot sort out some of his other feelings. He does not know what they are.

He does not know why he feels like smiling when Makoto asks if he wants to get dinner together.

He does not know why his chest feels tight when they’re squeezed together on a crowded train.

He does not know why he’s automatically in a good mood when Makoto gives him the brightest smile ever.

Haru does not know. So he piles all those separate feelings into a big one.

_Love._

_“Do you think about him a lot?”_

I’m sorry. _I didn’t realise I thought about him differently_.

 

 

By this time, Haru has stopped fighting against _that image_ that just keeps appearing whatever Haru tries to do.

The moment he stopped struggling, Haru realises that there is so much that he had missed, that he now misses, about Makoto.

How his hair might’ve just been like another ordinary brunet’s. But Haru never knew it was so fluffy, so soft, almost like it’s beckoning him to touch it.

How his eyes are more than just a fancy shade of green. They’re warm, they’re kind, they’re oh, so gentle.

How his smile isn’t like any other. It’s beautiful, it’s charming, it’s lovely, and it’s Haru’s favourite smile in the world.

Haru turns around and pulls the blanket up to his shoulders.

He has just realised a ton of different things and it’s like a harsh revelation, a slap to the face.

Sketchbooks cannot show the softness of Makoto’s hair.

Paint does not capture the gentleness in Makoto’s eyes.

Pencils cannot draw the happiness that is Makoto’s fundamental being.

Ink does not do not do justice to the kindness in Makoto’s smile.

Pens cannot sketch down Makoto’s warmth.

Most of all, Haru realises that he cannot place the love he has for Makoto on paper.

_“Does your heart race when you see him?”_

I’m sorry. _I didn’t understand what you meant_.

 

 

It’s six in the evening and Haru’s mind is a train wreck of thoughts upon thoughts upon thoughts.

When his thoughts drift in the _I don’t care anymore_ direction, Haru’s lips feel like they’re dirty. Muddy. He can’t place a finger on the feeling, and he doesn’t want to. It’s disgusting. He doesn’t want this. So he stops.

Those thoughts then drift towards the _I want to see Makoto again_ direction, and all of a sudden there’s a light tingling sensation on his lips. It’s not dirty, it’s not repulsive. It is almost like they’re longing for the touch of another pair of lips. But there is only one other pair of lips in this world that can quell that longing. Haru squeezes his eyes shut.

His thoughts then flow in the direction that maybe he does not want to see Makoto again. That he does not want anything to do with him. But the moment he thinks that his heart feels like it drops and his stomach lurches in the weirdest and most painful way and Haru knows it isn’t true.

_“Don’t you feel anything weird or funny when you’re around him? Or when he does something…cute? Or sexy? Or I don’t know just think about it!”_

I’m sorry. _I chose to ignore my own feelings_.

_“You do, don’t you?”_

I’m sorry. _I did. I do._

_“Don’t you want to see him every day? Or have the urge to touch him? Don’t you dream about him?!”_

I’msorry.I’msorry.I’msorry.

_“Makoto’s a really good guy.”_

I’m sorry.

_I know._

_I’m in love with him._

 

 

It’s been exactly a week since the kiss. Exactly a week since the realisation. Exactly a week since Haru’s finally been honest with himself.

It’s been far too long. He’s taken far too long to recover. But Makoto hasn’t come after him. Makoto hasn’t left him a message.

_Does Makoto even care?_

Whether Makoto cares or not isn’t Haru’s problem. He has to apologise. He has to set things straight. Get things right.

Because leaving it like this is wrong.

Practicing apologies in front of a mirror is cliché, and Haru knows he does not listen to clichés. So he opts for the pool instead. To dive into the water because it might have the answers. But even if it doesn’t, Haru will have a clear mind to think. To formulate a proper explanation.

A proper apology.

He gets out of bed, where he’s spent 90% of the past week, and searches for his goggles with a heartbeat that seems to keep getting faster. Haru hasn’t been to the pool in a week. He hasn’t seen Makoto in a week.

And it’s probably about time he does something before regrets start festering in his heart.

 

 

The moment Haru walks into the pool building, he almost walks right back out.

This time it’s not the memories that keep him from jumping into the pool. It’s not the dread that makes him unable to dive into the blue calm. It’s not the racing heartbeat or shaky hands or light-headedness.

It’s Makoto himself.

He’s right there. At exactly the same place Haru first saw him at the pool a week ago. Lane two. Sitting at the edge of the pool. Legs in the water.

He looks up, right into Haru’s eyes.

Haru has never felt so lost.

All he meant to do was to submerge himself. Cool his head. Compose himself. He really was going to do the apology later on.

But with Makoto right in front of him, what is he going to do?

He can’t apologise right now. He has nothing. His brain is blank. This isn’t something he can just whip up on the spot.

He can’t go into the pool either. Because that would be so rude. So terribly rude that Makoto would probably not talk to him anymore.

Haru hasn’t even weighed the damage each option would land him before his body decides on option three. An option that wasn’t even on the list.

He turns and runs.

“Haru!”

Right before he can run down to the changing rooms something grabs his arm.

Haru freezes in an instant.

The hand on his arm is warm, powerful, secure. It’s almost like imprisonment, but Haru hasn’t felt so grounded before.

“Hey, Haru…”

Makoto’s voice is soft. Like gentle autumn breeze and a lullaby. It doesn’t push, it doesn’t demand. It’s just there, floating, floating, light as a feather, soft as a quilt.

But Haru doesn’t miss the specks of _hurt_ laced in it. His heart falls.

He gives no reply. Makoto doesn’t continue. And they stay like that, connected through Makoto’s hand on Haru’s arm, as Haru counts his heartbeats.

_Thirteen._

_Fourteen._

_Fifteen._

It’s silent. It’s so silent around them. The pool is still. The benches are empty. There’s no one except them.

_Forty-eight._

_Forty-nine._

_Fifty._

Haru can feel the pulse of Makoto’s heart through the hand on his arm. It’s erratic, it’s hard and fast and it matches Haru’s. Almost as if their hearts were two halves of a whole. But that can’t possibly be true because Haru knows his heart is a terrible deceitful one and Makoto’s is pure gold.

_Seventy-one._

_Seventy-two._

_Seventy-three._

He’s caught. Haru knows he’s caught. Not by Makoto’s warm hand because that he doesn’t mind. He’s caught here because fate isn’t going to let him run anymore.

_Ninety-five._

_Ninety-six._

_Ninety-seven._

Haru takes a deep breath.

_Ninety-nine._

_One hundred._

“I’m sorry, Makoto.”

Makoto jumps, as if electrocuted. But his hand does not move from its place.

“I…I didn’t mean to do that.”

_I didn’t mean to do it at that time. I didn’t mean to do it without understanding first._

Haru can hear the way Makoto’s breath hitches, like its stuck in his throat. His grip tightens ever so slightly, and Haru wonders if he’s said the wrong thing.

Four heartbeats pass before Makoto breathes out.

“So…that didn’t mean anything to you?”

 _Pain._ Makoto’s voice is full of pain. And Haru’s heart is painful because he was the one who did this.

“Haru, when you kissed me, did that even mean anything to you?”

His voice is so soft. So, so soft. Like someone playing pianissimo or a faint whisper of an owl’s wings. And it’s so _hurt_. Makoto is so hurt. He’s in pain. All because of Haru.

All because Haru didn’t understand.

All because Haru refused to understand.

_All because I didn’t listen._

Haru breathes out slowly. He has to tread carefully on this question. Because he doesn’t know how to pour out his heart like pouring a cup of water.

Because even though feelings run as rampant as the most violent of waves, they’re kept in Haru’s heart unlike water which will flow anywhere it pleases. Haru does not know how to unlock his heart. He does not know how to channel his feelings anywhere outside his heart.

He does not know how to tell Makoto what he really feels.

He’s being careful.

So that he won’t hurt Makoto again.

“No…yes, Makoto.”

Haru’s voice is even softer than Makoto’s. But he doesn’t think it’s as gentle. As melodic. It’s harsh on his ears.

“That kiss…I didn’t mean to do it then. I didn’t mean to do it when I hardly understood myself. And when I didn’t even know what you felt…”

_Does Makoto even care?_

_Does he even think of me the same way?_

_It doesn’t matter._

_It doesn’t…_

_I still have to apologise._

“But it meant everything to me. It still means everything to me. I understand now. I kissed you, because…I…I…”

Haru’s throat feels dry. His face is warm but his hands are cold. And he lowers his voice to something that can barely pass for a whisper.

“I love you.”

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you so much._

Makoto takes his hand off Haru’s arm.

Haru is falling.

He’s falling into darkness.

His chest constricts painfully. His legs aren’t there. He can’t breathe.

 

And all that is shattered in an instant when Makoto wraps his arms around Haru.

Haru isn’t falling anymore.

There’s no darkness around him.

He’s warm. He’s safe. He’s protected.

He can breathe.

“Haru…” Makoto sighs into his ear and Haru feels his entire face heat up.

“I love you too.”

Haru’s heart explodes the moment he hears those four words.

Those four simple words that would’ve meant nothing to him before. That mean everything to him now. Because they’re from Makoto.

Then he feels blinded. Not physically, but mentally, because everything suddenly stops.

Haru goes totally numb.

He feels absolutely nothing.

Until he feels a strong steady heartbeat against his back. Gentle arms that are wrapped around his body. Warm breath in his hair.

Haru starts to feel himself breathing. He can feel his own heartbeat thump in rhythm with the one against his back. He can feel the warmth in his cheeks, the warmth in his heart.

There’s a smile spreading across his face.

He’s so happy.

Being in love isn’t so bad after all.

Makoto’s arms tighten around him and Haru’s heart leaps out of his chest.

He’s so warm.

 

“C-can I kiss you properly now, Haru?”

Makoto’s voice is so shy, and Haru’s chest feels like it burst into stars because that is _adorable_.

Haru’s running on autopilot again the moment he turns around, and he does exactly two things.

He closes his eyes.

And then he meets Makoto’s lips halfway.

This time, they aren’t mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /cries to myself thEY fINALLY KISSED AGAIN SLAY ME (PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER? I'D LOVE TO HAVE ANY FEEDBACK AND STUFF THEY MAKE ME HAPPY THANK YOU!!)
> 
> ***THIS IS THE PART I'D REALLY LIKE YOU GUYS TO READ BEFORE YOU CLOSE THE PAGE!! I just want to thank you all for your kind support, wonderful comments, and just everything that you guys have given me (especially since I gave you those two cliffhangers and threw you into the deep end by just ending it after that underwater kiss HAHAHAHhaH) so as a thank you, and because the next chapter is last, if there is anything that you guys want me to write or want to see happening, please don't hesitate to tell me! I honestly don't mind adding in any extra like, I don't even know...things...that you guys want the makoharu (or just anyone) to do...OTL so yes if you have anything feel free to tell me in the comments, or if you're shy you can always drop me a message on tumblr (@grizzly-pandabear) or on twitter (@nanasehharu)!! I do have plans for the last chapter, but it'll be really short if there are no requests so just a heads up!! IF YOU DO REQUEST ANYTHING, PLEASE DON'T REQUEST SMUT or anything mature/explicit/r18 I'm not turning 18 until August (laughs weakly) and even when I do, I don't think smut is going to be...uh...something I'd write...yeah sorry!  
> I promise that I will try my best to fulfill all your requests to the best of my ability. If I don't, I'm sorry, I tried please don't take it personally ;;;;;  
> (@always_drarry I CAN WRITE THAT JEALOUSY THING IF YOU'D LIKE ME TO I WILL TRY)
> 
> Well, once again, thank you all for reading the dumb au that I created on a whim, standing in the shower with my head in a blur. I never would've thought it would be this well-received, so thank you! IM SO HAPPY IM CRYING HAhAHAHhahha SlAy mE I tALk toO muCH (rmb that you can always chat if you want criEs Did you know I made a most wonderfrill adorabubble friend on this website she slays me every single time i love her to bits ♥)


	6. haru discovers the joy that comes with tachibana makoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru gets embarrassed a lot, is jealous over Makoto, and kisses are great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again (and for the last time for this fic)!! So this is the last chapter, and I’m kinda sad that it’s over but at the same time I’m really happy because I never would’ve thought that I’d be able to pull off writing a multichap au makoharu fic (WHICH IS OVER 10K WORDS GOODNESS GRACIOUS I DON’T USUALLY WRITE A LOT) but yes, thank you all for being so kind to me! You mean a lot to me so thank you
> 
> On the night I posted chp5 I actually had this really cute dream of Haru being Makoto’s dragon, a bit like Toothless if you’ve seen httyd except with blue eyes and way more affectionate (because it’s makoharu) and then dragon haru went and kissed makoto one day aND HE TURNED INTO A HUMAN I AM SCREAMING it was only a dream and after Haru turned human my dream turned into something morbid which I will not tell you ;P
> 
> Anyways, sorry for rambling! A lot of the comments for the previous chapter were telling me how you liked the way I wrote Haru? I just wanted to say that that’s only because we’re really similar, so our thought processes are similar too!! So it’s easier on me to write Haru’s (totally infatuated and in love) pov AHha ahah /sweats which is why when some of you requested Makoto’s pov I freAKED OUT BECAUSE I CAN’T DO THAT but bless RomanceonJupiter16 for the suggestion that I used in this last chapter! THANK YOU SWEETHEART! I also just want to say that I haven't been in love for awhile, I don't even know if I was ever really in love or if it's the same as what everyone else would feel ?? (unless you count my extreme love for Haru which is quite ridiculous sometimes) so I hope I got it down alright OTL  
> I managed to add all your suggestions in (except one /HEAVY BREATHING), but how much I actually wrote about it varies I AM SO SORRY I tried my best, I hope you like it ;;  
> So yeah, before I tell you my entire life story (lol) this last chapter might be something like episode 13 of amagi brilliant park if you’ve seen that, except is not as random (and its the longest chapter). It’s like an extra episode where I threw in all your suggestions with the short fluffy part I planned in my outline, aND I PROMISE THAT THERE ARE ZERO BIRTH GIVING HORSES GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME  
> (please tell me if anything doesn't make sense, I only proofread the entire thing once ;;)

“Ah, it’s right over there!”

Makoto points excitedly to a quaint looking café right at the corner of the road, and as far as Haru can see it does looks pretty nice.

They have just started dating (Haru blushes hard every time he realises) and Makoto had wanted to bring Haru somewhere nice. Just because Makoto himself is nice, and he had looked so excited talking about a small café he remembered he liked that Haru couldn’t refuse.

So they walk, hand in hand, out on the busy streets of Tokyo one afternoon to that café.

The moment they sit themselves down, a pink-haired waiter comes to their table with menus. Haru jumps a little because that had been surprising.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you!”

Haru does not like the way this waiter smiles at him. His grin is way too wide and his purple eyes are so mischievous it makes Haru shiver and unknowingly back away.

Just as fast as he had come, the pink-haired man is right by Makoto’s side, standing too close, too close to Makoto for Haru’s liking. In fact Haru doesn’t think he’s being possessive – the guy is literally one centimetre away from Makoto and that is really…disturbing.

“Ah…uh…”

Makoto rubs the back of his neck, looking bashful and nervous at the same time it makes Haru want to chase the waiter right out of the café.

“Don’t worry, take your time to choose!”

The waiter does not budge an inch from where he is standing, breathing down Makoto’s neck.

“Also, you have such gorgeous green eyes. Did you know that?”

Haru bristles.

“Oh, uh…thank you?”

“No need to thank me, it’s true! My name’s Kisumi, by the way.”

“Uh, h-hi, Kisumi…I-I’m Makoto.”

Kisumi smirks in the most horrifying manner Haru has ever seen (it’s worse than Rin’s) and _did Makoto just say ‘kiss me’?!_

Haru gives Kisumi a flat look because he already hates that name and reaches out for Makoto’s hand under the table. Makoto laces their fingers together and gives Haru a small smile.

“Makoto, huh? That’s a lovely name. I can give you my number too. You’re absolutely - ”

“Makoto.”

Haru cuts Kisumi right off because he’s had enough of his nonsense.

“Y-yes Haru?”

Makoto sounds way too relieved and it secretly makes Haru happy.

“Have you decided?”

Kisumi laughs and Haru can’t stop the frown that appears immediately on his face.

“I’m so sorry, are you guys dating?”

Both Makoto and Haru turn red on the spot and Kisumi has to hold his hand over his mouth because he’s laughing too loud in this small café.

“I am so sorry, Haru- _chan._ I didn’t mean to make you jealous.”

Haru gapes in horror because that was the freakiest thing he had heard in his life. And also Kisumi is being stupid and Haru does not like it.

“Anyway, can I order the chocolate cake?”

This time, Haru is the one relieved.

 

The moment Kisumi comes back with their food Haru tenses up again and grips Makoto’s hand tighter.

“Relax, Haru. I’m not going to eat you!”

Kisumi winks, he _winks_ , and Haru feels a shiver run down his spine.

“Ah, Makoto. I’ve been wanting to ask you something.”

Makoto looks up from where he had been (adorably) staring at his cake with a happy smile.

“Yes?”

“What exactly made you fall for Haru?”

Makoto flails a little, a small blush colouring his cheeks as he takes a moment to compose himself. Haru is curious, but his heart is probably going at two hundred beats per minute and that is not good. So he stares down at his tea as if that would calm him down.

“W-Well…”

Haru looks up cautiously to find Makoto staring right into his eyes.

Then Makoto smiles, the gentlest most loving smile Haru has ever seen, and he’s left breathless.

“The moment I looked into Haru’s eyes I knew I was a goner.”

Haru splutters and almost chokes on air.

 

When they’re finally done, Makoto pays the bill (despite Haru’s insistence they at least go Dutch) and Kisumi waves too enthusiastically at the pair when they head out.

Haru still hasn’t fully recovered from what Makoto had said, neither has he gotten rid of the small twinge of _jealousy_ because Kisumi had been so obviously and easily flirting with Makoto which is something Haru couldn’t do if he tried.

So when they reach the university campus, Haru does not let go of Makoto’s hand and brings him back to his room.

“What’s wrong, Haru?”

Makoto looks him with a curious but happy smile on his face. Haru blushes because he hadn’t really given it much thought before practically pulling Makoto into the room with him.

“Nothing.”

“If you say so.”

Makoto chuckles and kisses the top of Haru’s head affectionately. Haru turns away, embarrassed and blushing.

“I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Okay. I’ll wait here then.”

Haru does what he has to do, then splashes his face with cold water because his chest still feels tight. Then he heads out to find Makoto sitting on Rin’s bed, looking curiously at the stack of Haru’s sketchbooks on the table.

“Oh Haru, are these all yours?” Makoto points at the sketchbooks, and there are four on the table as of now.

“Mm.”

“M-may I look inside? But only if you don’t mind of course!”

Haru thinks back to sketchbook #2 and blanches.

But at least Makoto had the decency to ask…and Haru doesn’t really mind Makoto seeing what’s inside just because he thinks he had done some pretty decent artwork. (Even if he’s a little embarrassed right now.)

Still, he hands Makoto sketchbooks #1, #3, and the still half empty #4 and sits down on the bed next to him, clutching sketchbook #2 to his chest. That can wait for later, if Makoto still wants to see more.

“Wow Haru! These are absolutely amazing! You’re such a great artist, do you like art a lot?”

Haru shrugs, the tips of his ears bright red because Makoto is gushing out praise like nobody’s business and he’s so in awe, which makes Haru both happy and endeared at the same time. Makoto is really cute when he’s excited.

“Do you like drawing the ocean?”

Makoto is flipping through the pages of sketchbook #4, all of which are paintings of oceans and lakes and just water in general.

“I guess. It’s calming.”

“They’re calming to look at, too.”

Haru smiles to himself when he sees how Makoto’s eyes trace over every little detail on every single page, how he has a little smile on his face and bright eyes.

He reaches the last drawing too soon. Haru’s hands feel a little sweaty where he’s holding sketchbook #2 really tightly.

“You’re so talented, Haru!”

Haru’s heart beats fast, and then it beats faster when Makoto’s eyes land on the sketchbook he’s holding.

“I-Is that another one?”

“Mm.”

“Oh! M-may I look inside too? But if you’re uncomfortable it’s totally alright! I don’t want to pry, haha I’m just curious.”

Makoto rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish smile on his face, and Haru takes a deep breath because he’s not really uncomfortable with the idea of Makoto seeing what’s inside. But at the same time he is a little flustered because _what would he think?!_

“I-I don’t mind.” _I guess…_

Haru hands him sketchbook #2 with trembling hands and a fluttering heart. Makoto takes it from him gently and thanks him, and now it’s too late for Haru to be having second thoughts.

The moment Makoto opens the book, Haru almost can’t suppress the sudden urge to run out of the room.

Then Makoto’s breath hitches and Haru knows he’s made a mistake.

_Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh no oh no what have I done I shouldn’t have done that I am an idi –_

“Haru…is this…are these…me?”

Haru wants to say no, but he can’t say no because the look on Makoto’s face is giving his heart an intense workout and Haru never thought he could look quite this endearing.

“Yes…”

Makoto’s smile widens so much Haru is a little scared because it must hurt but at the same time his stomach is doing some magnificent acrobatics and he does not want to look away from Makoto’s face.

“But they’re so beautiful,” Makoto lightly traces his finger over a drawing of him with glasses on, “I’m not this beautiful, Haru.”

“But you are.” Haru thinks to himself.

And then Makoto turns to look at him and Haru’s mind goes blank because he had actually said that out loud and that is embarrassing and he’s never going to be able to look Makoto in the face again and what is he going to do –

“Haru…” Makoto smiles at him like he’s the only thing that matters, and Haru does not think Makoto knows what exactly that does to him.

Before Haru can even start to blush Makoto has closed the book gently, set it on the table, and knocked Haru backwards in the biggest hug Haru has ever experienced. He’s too shocked to do anything as he falls down onto the bed with Makoto on top of him.

“O-Oh sorry Haru I got too carried away!”

Makoto starts to lift himself up but is stopped immediately when Haru clutches the back of his shirt and brings him back down.

Haru doesn’t even _know_ why he did that. And now he’s embarrassed all over again, hiding his face in Makoto’s chest and too mortified to let go of his shirt even if he’s having a little bit of difficulty breathing with a huge weight on his body.

They stay like that for one, two, three seconds before Makoto, still with his arms around Haru, rolls over so that he isn’t squashing the poor boy.

“Are you alright, Haru?”

Haru nods into Makoto’s shirt, unknowingly nuzzling into his neck as they lay there in each other’s warmth.

“You’re beautiful too, Haru.”

Haru combusts on the spot.

Makoto starts stroking his hair gently, pressing soft little kisses to his head every so often.

Haru is, thankfully, past the first stage of initial embarrassment and is now lying in Makoto’s embrace, snuggling into him and holding him tightly. He lazily counts Makoto’s heartbeats, which are beating right against his ear.

Sketchbook #2 sits on the table, forgotten for the time being, and Kisumi has totally vanished from Haru’s mind as his eyelids start to feel a little heavy.

The hand petting Haru’s head gets slower and slower. Makoto’s kisses become less frequent until they stop altogether when Makoto presses his face to Haru’s hair.

Haru’s fists loosen their grip on Makoto’s shirt, until they’re just there, like warm pads on Makoto’s back.

The sky is only just beginning to darken as they fall asleep in each other’s arms.

 

 

 

 “You guys are dating?!”

Rin jumps so high he almost hits his head against the top bunk.

Haru pouts and turns to the side. He’s a little peeved about Rin’s reply, and he’s not much happier that he’s back from his holiday.

“Well you asked…”

All Haru gets in response is hearty laughter coming from Rin, and when Haru turns to look at him he’s doubled over with tears at the corners of his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry Haru,” says Rin when he catches Haru staring at him in the most annoyed manner, “I told you he was a good guy! See? I knew you’d try and woo him I was right I’m a genius. But seriously though, I’m happy for you guys.”

Haru frowns because that sounded pretty sarcastic coming from Rin.

“Hey, don’t look like that. I’m really happy okay?”

“Sure. Whatever.”

“Also, I’m sorry for looking through your stuff without permission. Even though it might’ve helped, bad move on my part. Sorry Haru.”

Haru shrugs, unsure of what to say. He had been really angry, and it had been really rude of Rin. But everyone makes mistakes and Haru’s pretty sure he’s a good guy despite his rash and stupid actions (even though he’d never admit that to Rin.)

“It’s fine. Just don’t do it again.”

“You bet I won’t, thanks man.”

With a smile on his face, Rin starts unpacking his travel bag. Haru thinks this might be a good time to thank Rin for all his effort. After all it _had_ been Rin that had introduced Haru to Makoto, and despite that one Machiavellian move on his part it had all turned out well.

“Thanks, Rin.” Haru mumbles so softly it’s almost lost in the air.

Rin’s smile turns devious in a second.

“What did you say?”

Haru knows Rin heard. He _knows_ it. And now Rin is trying to embarrass him again. He’s having none of it.

“You’re an idiot.”

Rin chortles and slaps his knee.

“So are you, Haru. And I’d have thought Makoto had better tastes than some hopeless _fishboy_ with a water obsession.”

“Shut up Rin. You’re the one with the shark teeth and Sousuke loves you.”

Rin’s blushing, and Haru knows he’s blushing too. And they’re both blushing like idiots in the room.

 

 

 

Rin stares at the lunchbox in Makoto’s hands, then at the one in Haru’s hands, then at Makoto, then at Haru.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.”

“What.”

“Makoto, are you serious?”

Makoto forces an embarrassed laugh and looks at Haru.

“Sheesh you guys,” Rin shakes his head, “You’ve just started dating and you’re already acting like some stupid married couple.”

“M-Married…couple…?”

Makoto turns bright red at the suggestion and stares down at the blue lunchbox in his hands.

“Don’t act dumb Makoto, you made _lunch_ for each other! Next thing I know you guys will be adopting that stray cat and calling it your child.”

“Are you jealous, Rin?”

“Oh shut up Haru. Sousuke and I aren’t as embarrassing as you two lovebirds.”

Sousuke smirks deviously at Rin, who turns red and starts walking down the hallway.

“Ah Rin wait!”

Makoto and Rin walk ahead, and Haru is left trailing behind with Sousuke walking at a slow pace.

“Haru.”

Haru tenses and holds the green lunchbox closer to his body. He doesn’t look at Sousuke.

“What.”

Sousuke frowns and folds his arms across his chest.

“Don’t you _dare_ hurt Makoto again.”

Haru’s heart falls.

He remembers their first kiss. He remembers running away. He remembers how hurt Makoto had sounded.

He remembers hurting on the inside because he had hurt Makoto.

He’s never going to do that again.

“I won’t.”

“You better not. Or I’ll come after you.”

Haru feels a little annoyed at Sousuke’s protectiveness over Makoto.

Makoto is _his_. And he’s not going to hurt him again.

“Then you better take care of Rin too.”

“You’re one to talk.”

They glare at each other until Makoto and Rin call for them to hurry up.

 

“So tell me Makoto. What exactly made you fall for fishface over here?”

Makoto chokes on his rice as Haru glares daggers at Rin.

“Ah, well, uh I already told this to Kisumi

(Haru scowls)

but when I first saw Haru’s eyes I guess that was the start of it.”

“Dude Makoto, I don’t know who Kisumi is and I don’t care but that is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard.”

Makoto’s blush deepens as he tries to retort.

“I-I don’t love Haru just because of his eyes!”

“Then,” Rin takes a bite of his sandwich and smirks, “tell me more.”

Haru tries to keep the scowl on his face but it’s crumbling as his heart starts to beat faster in anticipation.

“Well…Haru is a really kind person. And I guess not many people see that, but I’m glad I did.”

_Kind? I’m not kind._

“Sometimes I see him feeding the little stray cat that hangs around the campus. I also saw him helping a child once when I was shopping for groceries. Haru is really sweet.”

The scowl on Haru’s face has been totally replaced by an embarrassed pout, complete with a blush on his cheeks and red ears.

“I think he’s very thoughtful and caring. And also, Haru swims really beautifully! When I first saw it I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.”

Haru has heard that many times before. But out of all the times he’s heard that, this is the first time hearing those words make him happy.

“Actually there are so many other things that I could say but it would probably take the entire day,” Makoto scratches his cheek with a smile on his face, “but I’ll just say that Haru is a very beautiful person. Both on the inside and on the outside.”

Right now, Haru is practically squirming in his seat with the most flustered look on his face and the deepest blush he’s ever managed to have in his entire life.

Rin takes one look at him and laughs. He laughs so loud Haru almost growls at him because he’s just being embarrassed more and more as the seconds go by.

“I’m sorry Makoto, but I have to say that _that_ , is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard in my life.”

 

 

 

_From Makoto_

_Morning Haru ^^ Do you want to go for a swim later?_

_To: Makoto_

_Yes._

 

_From Makoto_

_Great! Then I’ll see you at the pool at 5? We can get dinner at the ramen shop you like ^^_

_To: Makoto_

_Okay._

 

Haru debates on adding a heart at the end of his message, but becomes too embarrassed and opts for a cute cat emoji instead.

 

 

 

They swim together for about an hour, before Makoto stops at the deep end of the pool and waits for Haru to float over to where he is.

“Hey, Haru.”

“Mm?”

Haru is still floating on his back, just a short distance away from where Makoto is leaning his arm on the pool’s edge.

“Uh, I want to show you something.”

Haru opens his eyes and straightens himself, slowly treading water and taking in the blush on Makoto’s face.

“Okay.”

“C-Come with me for a bit.”

Makoto takes his arm off the edge and goes underneath the water. Haru follows suit and stops right in front of where Makoto is.

Haru freezes.

Fluffy light brown hair. Bright green eyes with gold specks. Beautiful smile.

It all comes back to Haru, and he almost starts panicking because _not this again not this again I don’t want to hurt Makoto again I can’t hurt him anymore –_

Makoto cups Haru’s face gently and comes closer, closer, until Haru can feel the ticklish sensation of bubbles against his face when Makoto breathes out.

It’s so warm. Makoto’s hand is warm and gentle. Almost as if it’s telling him to come closer.

Come closer. Don’t be afraid.

Haru’s fears vanish in an instant.

Because this time he understands.

This time he knows he’s in love.

And this time, he knows Makoto loves him too.

This is the right place. The right time. He is not going to run away again. Makoto is not going to be hurt again. No more pain, no more sadness, no more grief.

Everything is going to be alright.

Haru breathes out slowly too, inching his way closer until their faces are mere breath away.

Then Makoto kisses him.

 

When they emerge again at the shallow end of the pool, hand in hand, Makoto hugs Haru to his chest gently.

Haru hugs back, a little taken aback at the sudden display of affection but enjoying it nonetheless.

“Haru…”

Makoto loosens his arms and leans back to look Haru right in the eyes.

Haru loses his breath again.

It’s almost as if they’re back to the start.

Green. Absolutely _mesmerising_ green.

But they’re not back to the start, they’re not reliving the past.

They’re in the present, together.

Because this time, it’s not just green.

Its green mixed with affection, kindness, care, tenderness…

_Love._

Makoto places his hand gently on the side of Haru’s face, then smiles the most gentle and loving of smiles as they stand there, waist-deep in the water, with nothing but the steady sound of their breathing and the droplets of water that roll off their bodies back into the pool.

“I love you, Haru.”

Haru flushes as he leans ever so slightly closer to Makoto.

“Me too. I love you too, Makoto.”

Makoto smiles in the most heart-warming way as Haru leans in and kisses him once more.

Being in love isn’t so bad, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Being in love isn't so bad, after all" TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY. U must be a Haru and have your lovely Makoto ♥
> 
> Anyways, this is the end ;-; I'm so happy, thank you all so sO much for sticking with me through this train wreck of a fic I LOVE YOU ALL!! Please leave me comments they make my day THANK YOU!  
> I have 0 ideas and motivation to write anything any time soon, but I'll probably see you guys around some time ^^
> 
> Remember we can always chat! (u have my tumblr and twitter right ahahah)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, feedback, and kudos are eternally appreciated! Thank you!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @grizzly-pandabear | twitter @nanasehharu


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